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At its worst, it is painful and unpleasant. It took me a long time to stop asking guys during sex to pull out and check their penises for shit. Fisting — inserting the whole hand into the anus — tends to draw gasps from people who are not into it, gay men included. So rather than cast blame, the wisest response is for me and every health care worker and conscientious gay man to urge guys who bareback to get tested as frequently as possible. You could say that my pleasure focus point has shifted from my dick to my butt. But for men on PrEP who make the decision not to use condoms, monthly testing is the minimum degree of self-care that you should practice.


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17 Tips for Happier, Healthier Bottoming

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Toy play has made me a better bottom and, for many guys, is the gateway to becoming more comfortable with sex. The previous slide automatically leads to my next topic: However, when you see red, it is a sign that you have gone too rough or perhaps have not used enough lube, and it is time to stop. Again, fiber will aid the healing process of both these common ailments that befall bottoms. When I was little, my father would drag my sister and me out in the cold morning in camouflage outfits and orange hats to sit with him in a deer stand and practice shooting his gun. The opening and closing of this muscle on its own can be very erotic. If you choose to do drugs, remember that the most common sex drugs — Ecstasy, Molly, GHB, and the like — will act as accelerants.


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Get comfortable, first and foremost, with getting fucked. If you use one in the shower, lube up the nozzle with silicone lube, which will not wash off in water. Smooth toys work best. When I first came out of the closet, I announced myself as a top. Gently and slowly stick the nozzle up your butt and gently, slowly squeeze the bulb. And feel free to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments.


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